Excerpt from Nico Unedited and subject to change
"Isn't it weird? I mean, I always think of my boobs being specific to sex, not feeding a person. I think it's creepy. I'm totally doing formula." Anika sat riveted to her best friend, new mother, Amelia.
I had listened to hundreds, maybe thousands of different topics of conversation while giving ink. But listening to Amelia and Anika discuss lactation was a first.
"Dude, guys get to whip it out conveniently and pee anywhere they want. Girls, this is the first time we get to whip out a tit and have it be for practical purposes. But I'm not a ambi-feeder so I have a B.L.T."
I had a feeling I was about to learn a lot more about breastfeeding than I had ever wanted to know.
Anika gave her an "I'm waiting" look. "Well, I'm right handed, so I lay bubbs across my stomach, kinda propped on my left elbow, right?"
"Right." I watched Anika arrange her arms as if following an instructional video.
"Then I flop out my left tit and squeeze a little boob juice out so he can smell the goodness, like boob-coffee." Anika was now cupping her breast, which I couldn't help but notice had increased at least a full cup size since I'd seen her at the wedding. I had to stop. In fact, every single person in the shop was listening to Aimes now. I turned off the buzzing machine to wait out the story.
"And it's totally sweet, Gus has tried it, he loves it and thank God because, oh yeah, that's what I was trying to tell you: about not being an ambi-feeder. So, it's totally easy to feed him on the left side but when I try on the right, it doesn't work as well...hence, not an ambi-feeder. So, I end up always having a really full left boob, big left tit, B.L.T. and the right one, starts to hurt a little when it gets full because baby never feeds as much on that side. So at night in bed, Gus takes a little drink for me so my boobs won't hurt. He calls it dessert."
Just then, Gus appeared. All six feet of former marine. "Sugar, maybe you could take it down a notch on the sharin' of the intimate details of our life?"
